Monday, May 28, 2012

Good Enough?

I Am Mom! Enough! Carnival buttonWelcome to the I Am Mom! Enough! Carnival hosted by Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama and Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children. This Carnival is dedicated to empowering ALL parents who practice and promote and peaceful, loving, attachment parenting philosophy. We have asked other parents to help us show the critics and the naysayers that attachment parenting is beautiful, uplifting, and unbelievably beneficial and NORMAL! In addition to the Carnival, Joni from Tales of a Kitchen Witch and Jennifer from True Confessions of a Real Mommy are co-hosting a Linky Party. Please stop by either blog to share any of your posts on the topic. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants. Post topics are wide and varied, and every one is worth a read.
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When I started learning to play the clarinet in the 6th grade, my teacher had a motto. "Good enough is not good enough." I hated that motto. I was doing something brand new to me. It could take hours upon hours to get to "good enough," how could it not be good enough? I was so frustrated at just the thought. My fingers hurt from reaching for the keys and pressing them closed tightly. My whole face hurt learning the proper embouchure to get the right sound out. I was TRYING! Who is to say that my effort wasn't good enough?

"Are you doing the best you can? Can you learn to do better? As long as you work to do better, that is what matters. You can't just stop at good enough." My dad, in one of his "wise man" moments. Turns out, it was for more than just music.

There has been a lot of exploration into the idea of being "Mom Enough." Time magazine tried to use it as an inflammatory statement meant to draw attention to their periodical. Pushing the mommy wars and pitting parenting styles against each other. I chose to take it as a personal inquisition, and ask if my parenting was good enough for my children.

The answer was: of course I am Mom Enough for my children! I do everything I can for them. They want for nothing. But, there are times when I find that I am at a loss. Where no matter how much I try, I don't have all the answers for how to best help my child. When my good enough is not good enough for my individual child. I realize that my children need more than my good enough, and I need to do more.

Yes, we are enough for our children. But I want to be MORE than enough. I want to be the best *I* can be for my children. So I keep learning, reading, exploring, and interacting with other amazing parents to further my parenting education.  I follow my instincts, and trust them to tell me when a new idea will help me build a better connection with my family. I take what works for us, and leave what doesn't behind. I am not going to stop at good enough; I am going to keep working at being better, everyday.


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Thank you for visiting the I Am Mom! Enough! Carnival hosted by hosted by Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama and Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children. Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants and check out previous posts at the linky party hosted by Joni from Tales of a Kitchen Witch and Jennifer from True Confessions of a Real Mommy: (This list will be live and updated by afternoon May 28 with all the carnival links.)
  • Good Enough? — Jennifer at True Confessions of a Real Mommy writes about how Good Enough is not Good Enough, if you use it as an excuse to stop trying.
  • The High Cost of High Expectations JeninCanada at Fat and Not Afraid shares what it's like to NOT feel 'mom enough' and wanting to always do better for herself and family.
  • TIME to Be You! — Becky at Old New Legacy encourages everyone to be true to themselves and live their core values.
  • I am mom and I have had ENOUGH — A mother had had ENOUGH of the mommy wars.
  • Motherhood vs. Feminism — Doula Julia at juliamannes.com encourages feminists to embrace the real needs and cycles and strengths of women.
  • T here Is No Universal Truth When It Comes To Parenting — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama discusses how parenting looks around the world and why there is no universal parenting philosophy.
  • Attachment Parenting Assumptions — ANonyMous at Radical Ramblings argues that attachment parenting is not just for the affluent middle-classes, and that as parents we all need to stop worrying about our differences and start supporting each other.
  • Thoughts on Time Magazine, Supporting ALL Mamas, and Advocating for the Motherless — Time Magazine led That Mama Gretchen to think about her calling as a mother and how adoption will play an important role in growing her family.
  • Attachment Parenting: the Renewed Face of Feminism — Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children embraces her inner feminist as she examines how the principles of attachment parenting support the equal treatment of all.
  • What a Mom Wants! — Clancy Harrison from Healthy Baby Beans writes about how women need to support each other in their different paths to get to the same destination.
  • Attachment Parenting: What One Family Wants You To Know — Jennifer, Kris, 4 year old Owen and 2 year old Sydney share the realities of attachment parenting, and how very different it looks than the media's portrayal.
  • We ALL Are Mom Enough — Amy W. of Amy Willa: Me, Mothering, and Making It All Work thinks that all mothers should walk together through parenthood and explores her feelings in prose.
  • A Typical Day Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment shares what a typical day with her attached family looks like...all in the hopes to shed light on what Attachment Parenting is, what it's not and that it's unique within each family!
  • The Proof is in the (organic, all-natural) Pudding — Kym at Our Crazy Corner of the World talks about how, contrary to what the critics say, the proof that attachment parenting works in visible in the children who are parented that way.
  • I am mom and I have had ENOUGH A mother had had ENOUGH of the mommy wars.
  • Time Magazine & Mommy Wars: Enough! What Really Matters? — Abbie at Farmer's Daughter encourages moms to stop fighting with each other, and start alongside each other.
  • Attachment parenting is about respect — Lauren at Hobo Mama breaks down what attachment parenting means to her to its simplest level.
  • I am an AP mom, regardless... — Jorje ponders how she has been an Attachment Parenting mom regardless of outside circumstances at Momma Jorje.
  • The first rule of Attachment Parenting is: You Do Not Talk about Attachment Parenting — Emily discusses, with tongue aqnd cheek, how tapping into our more primal selves actually brings us closer to who we are rather than who we think we should be.
  • Mom, I am. — Amy at Anktangle discusses how Attachment Parenting is a natural extension of who she is, and she explains the ways her parenting approach follows the "live and let live" philosophy, similar to her beliefs about many other areas of life.
  • I Am Dad Enough! — Attachment parenting does not only have to be about moms; their partners are just as important. In Code Name: Mama's family, Dionna's husband, Tom, is papa enough for lots of things.

4 comments:

  1. Such a great point! I definitely don't want to stop at being good "enough."

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  2. Simple, to the point, and spot on. The majority of us do our best and try to do better. So hell yes we are mom enough! But I doubt that the criticisms and negativity will ever stop. Can’t we just be left alone to parent?

    Thanks for being a part of this Carnival!

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  3. This is so true. We are good enough and we become better based on our own relativity. We take and learn bits and pieces from each other. What may work for you might not work for me but I am sure you can teach me something that would work for me. Thanks for the great post! I bet you are/were a great clarinet player!

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  4. I am constantly striving to grow, not only as a mother but also as a person. Love the post!

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