This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama.
Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.
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We like to be happy. We like to have excuses to be happy. We also love to learn. So what better way than to celebrate holidays? It gives us opportunity to learn about other cultures, religions, and customs, while taking every opportunity to spend time learning as a family.
We don't have a specific religion in our home. My husband says he is atheist. I'm a converted Catholic, but I am horrible at "being Catholic." I believe the dogma, and love the ceremony, but can't stand for some of the "rules." I want my children to have the freedom to explore the world and the beliefs therein, to form their own opinions, and to make their own choices. Many people I know feel burdened by their religion, I felt joy in choosing mine. I want that joy for my kids too.
That being said, we are celebrating all the winter holidays this month that we know about and have themes we feel apply to us. There are a ton! It has taken a good amount of time to gather information on them. One thing I would hate is to celebrate disrespectfully by getting something wrong! Luckily, we have a diverse circle of friends to help.
Our calender of winter holidays, and how we are celebrating in our home:
December 1st: Hanukkah begins at sundown. We celebrate with friends who have family members who practice Judaism, but they are just learning. My friend who is hosting the gathering picked up this neat set so we don't have to worry about the kids getting to flames. It worked really well for all the toddlers (8 kids 3 and under!). We also picked a few books from the library. My favorite was called The Trees of the Dancing Goats (Aladdin Picture Books). I loved that it talked about Hanukkah and also about honoring the holidays of neighbors and helping everyone enjoy the season.
December 5th or 6th: The feast of St. Nicolas. Everyone has a different approach to Santa. How our family does it is by looking to the inspiration for the modern Santa: St Nicolas. We focus on St Nicolas saving children and helping provide food in time of famine. We use it as an opportunity to go through our toys and clothes, and donate them so "Santa Claus" may take them to children who might not have families who can give them all the gifts our family is lucky to share. This is a great place for more kid-friendly information: http://www.stnicholascenter.org/Brix?pageID=166
December 8th: Bodhi Day. Said to be the day Buddha reached nirvana and found enlightenment. I genuinely look forward to the quiet celebration of this day, as we block a set amount of time without distractions. No computer, tv, phone, ect. The idea is to calm our hearts and minds, to be aware of the lives we lead and the choices we make. To relish in the wonders of the world around us. We might make heart shaped cookies to represent the leaves of the fig tree Buddha sat under.
December 21st: Yule or Winter Solstice. While Yule can have many descriptions, we will be spending the day to honor the change of seasons and the movement of the stars and planets. While most of our celebrations this month are about family, this will be our holiday of science. If the weather allows, we plan to take a walk after sunset to look at the stars, and more than likely talking about how cold it is will change the topic to seasons. Lighting a fire is also part of Yule ritual that we would like to explore.
December 21st-25th: Pancha Ganapati. Hindu celebration of Lord Ganesha, Patron of Arts and Guardian of Culture. Our take on this holiday focus' on the colors assigned to each day of the celebration. We use the days to create works of art based on the color of the day (yellow, blue, green, red, and orange). Each day also has a theme that the family should work on together. Starting with creating love and harmony within your family, and branching out to greater circles. Music, drama, and dance are also important, so we hope to take time to enjoy these things as well.
December 25th: Atheist Children Get Presents Day. This is a family joke, not to be taken as a negative on Christmas. Really, I feel that it allows Christmas to return to it's holy roots and really just "calls it like it is" for most families. Many families with no religious leanings will pick out the tree to decorate, make the big dinner, spend time with family and open presents. In our house we used to like to order in dinner, pizza or chinese, and go see a movie. We would tip the delivery person with not only a huge tip, but a gift card to show how we really understand it is never fun to work on Christmas. These traditions have changed over the years, and will continue to as our family changes.
There are also many local celebrations our family likes to participate in just as a family. L1's favorite is a Snowflake Lane. Toy soldiers march out, play Christmas carols, and it "snows." It is an amazing experience that brings joy to our family. We can't wait to go again this year and see what L2's reaction is, he was too little and asleep last year!
I have also always loved the story The Polar Express. Even before I had kids and before the movie, I would have a pajama party with my friends' kids to read the story, do crafts, and drink hot cocoa. I am continuing that tradition with my children and their friends.
This may seem all very overwhelming when I put it all together, but really this is about learning about the world around us and creating our own traditions. We won't be stressing over each and every aspect of these plans. The intent is what is important, and that we make family and friends the center of all of our celebrations.
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Visit Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:
(This list will be live and updated by afternoon December 14 with all the carnival links.)
- Traditions? What traditions? — Olivia at Write About Birth needs your advice: how can she make the most of the holiday season in a new country with only her immediate family? (@writeaboutbirth)
- TRADITION!!!!!! — Ella at My Intentional Journey reminds us all to be thankful for family traditions; there are those who have none.
- tradition! — Stefanie at Very, Very Fine came to realize that families can make incredible memories, even if they're not wealthy (or organized).
- Taking a child's perspective on traditions — Lauren at Hobo Mama wants to keep in mind how important even the mundane traditions will be to her little ones. (@Hobo_Mama)
- Sunday Dinners and Lullabies — Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment finds traditions in the small things throughout the year.
- Simple Family Advent Traditions — Michelle at The Parent Vortex crafted a set of advent bags with daily surprises to eat and to do. (@TheParentVortex)
- Parenting: Family Meetings - A Timeless Tradition — Amy Phoenix at Innate Wholeness discusses a year-round tradition in her household: Family Meetings. (@InnateWholeness)
- Our Mindful Holidays — They may not be "traditional" traditions, but they fit the family of Kellie at Our Mindful Life.
- Our Holiday Tradtions, New and Old — Even with three young children, Kristin at Intrepid Murmurings is finding ways to be intentional and meaningful about holiday traditions. (@sunfrog)
- Our Cupcake Custom — Amy at Anktangle knows celebrations need minimal excuse and lots of cupcakes! (@anktangle)
- On the bunny slope of tradition-making — Jessica Claire at Crunchy-Chewy Mama is finding her groove as a holistic-minded mama with a joyful holiday spirit. (@crunchychewy)
- No, Virginia, There Is Not a Santa Claus — Just because her family is not going to do Santa, does not mean that Sheila at A Gift Universe can't instill some mystery and magic into Christmas. (@agiftuniverse)
- New Traditions — Becky at Future Legacy shares a few traditions she is starting for her family, including popovers, a birthday banner, and service.
- My Holiday Family Traditions — The Artsymama continues a long tradition of adopting family members and sharing two favorite games that work well for a crowd.
- Mindfully Creating Family Traditions — Alison at BluebirdMama has ideas for celebrating birthdays, Valentine's Day, and Christmas — though her family's still figuring some of it out. (@bluebirdmama)
- Memorable Traditions — Lori Ann at MamaWit follows four mindful steps when instituting any tradition.
- Let's Talk Traditions — Lily, aka Witch Mom shares her family's traditions that are centered on the wheel of the year. (@lilyshahar)
- Homeschool Christmas — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now did not always celebrate the Christmas season in the same way with her family, but they always celebrated together. (@DebChitwood)
- Holidays, food and family — For Kristen at Adventures in Mommyhood, the holidays are about family and food. (@crunchymamato2)
- Giving Christmas to the Critter — Rachael at The Variegated Life has found a way to tie her Zen practices to the Christmas story of the baby in the manger. (@RachaelNevins)
- Family Traditions + To Santa Or Not To Santa — Stop by Natural Parents Network to discover some of the traditions from other natural parents. NPN is also featuring snippets of posts from NP bloggers on the topic of whether to encourage children to believe in Santa Claus. (@NatParNet)
- Family Tradition Origins — Momma Jorje discusses her family's traditions, and her desire not to make anyone feel obligated to conform to them.
- Everyday Traditions — For Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children it's the small, daily traditions that make life special.
- Establishing Traditions and Older Child Adoption — MrsH at Fleeting Moments is trying to find ways to start traditions with a family that was made very quickly through birth and adoption.
- Emerging Family Traditions — Melodie at Breastfeeding Moms Unite! shares some of her favorite birthday and Christmas traditions. (@bfmom)
- Does Rebellion Count? — Seonaid at the Practical Dilettante has instituted a day of rest and PJs at her house on Christmas. (@seonaid_lee)
- December Carnival of Natural Parenting: Family Traditions — Sybil at Musings of a Milk Maker tries to give her girls a mix of traditions to foster togetherness — but worries that not being near extended family is a disconnect.
- Craft-tea Christmas Celebrations — Lucy at Dreaming Aloud created a delicious Christmas tradition that she named "Craft-tea."
- A Christmas Tradition — Luschka at Diary of a First Child knows that even though she won't be able to have her usual holiday traditions this year, the important thing is that she has her family. (@lvano)
- Celebrations without the Holiday — Asha at Meta Mom shares several ways to celebrate the winter holidays without focusing on religious traditions. (@metamomma)
- Celebrating the Journey We Have Traveled Together — Acacia at Be Present enjoys the chance to draw closer to her family during the Christmas holiday.
- Celebrating Motherhood — Do you celebrate the day you became a mother? Dionna at Code Name: Mama offers some ideas for traditions to mark your passage into motherhood. (@CodeNameMama)
- Celebrate! Winter Traditions Brought Home. — At True Confessions of a Real Mommy, TrueRealMommy and her family are celebrating many different religions and traditions this month. Stop by to see their schedule of events. (@TrueRealMommy)
- "Always Ready", Holiday Style — Amy at Toddler In Tow discovered that it's not the traditions themselves, but the emotional experience behind them that makes them special.
This is almost exactly what I want to do in our family! Learning about other religions and traditions is important to us, and I love the real connection we can get by participating in them firsthand. (We would also love to actually meet/visit people who practice the traditions - like you are with your Jewish friends.) Great post, thank you for sharing!
ReplyDelete~Dionna @ Code Name: Mama
Atheist Children Get Presents Day! I love it! That perfectly describes us :)
ReplyDeleteHow amazing that you're exposting your children to so many different traditions. One of the things I want to do when we start HSing next year is to further explore those traditions.
So glad I found your blog through CarNatPar!
I'm so glad you posted this list! I am an atheist and Hubby is agnostic. This year we've been reading books about various religious and cultural Winter holiday traditions. I'd like to incorporate more on the celebratory side next year.
ReplyDeleteI love your traditions. Thanks for introducing me to some new ones. I feel inspired to write a pre-Solstice post on what we are planning to do for the 21st too. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteWow, what a lot of days and traditions! I'd be overwhelmed, but that's because I tend towards perfectionism and wouldn't be as good as you about being flexible and not stressing!!
ReplyDeleteI really really love this idea -- "We would tip the delivery person with not only a huge tip, but a gift card to show how we really understand it is never fun to work on Christmas." One year my cousins in Chicago dry-ice-packed a Chicago deep-dish pizza and sent it to be delivered in Christmas morning. We were all thrilled, but I remember even then as a kid feeling bad for the post officer, and wondering what his family was doing without him!
wow... so much going on! I must admit that I like your Atheist children get presents day idea. We are Christian and practice, but since Jesus wasn't actually born in December, nor did the shepherds and wise men actually decend on an infant, the whole idea behind Christmas to me is really just one of symbolism. I always see it like the Queen's real birthday versus her public birthday - the one is symbolic of the other. But I like that you'r honest enough to not celebrate something you don't believe and wish more people did too, as it would make the true meaning less watered down for those of us who DO celebrate it. Lovely post. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with you that holidays are a great opportunity for learning because it allows our kiddos the chance to actually learn why things are done. I also love the Polar Express and we watch it leading up to Christmas Day.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your thoughts!
I like the way that you celebrate Bodhi Day! In my sangha it is observed by an all-night vigil of sitting meditation on the Friday night before 12/8 — not really an event that my 2-yo can participate in. Nor I these days, for that matter. And so I've wondered how we as a family could observe it — thanks for the good idea!
ReplyDeleteThe best part of your comments is knowing that our way of celebrating is not offending those of you that really practice each religion! That is the message I really want to give my kids, to honor and respect the beliefs of everyone!
ReplyDeleteI love this mix of traditions you've found to celebrate. It sounds like you're being very respectful with them all and finding the heart of them. I love the look of that Hanukkah set. That would be a great way to introduce kids to the tradition.
ReplyDeleteI also think your idea of giving away things so St. Nick can use them to give as gifts is brilliant. What a fun, story-telling way for kids to learn to pass things along. I need ideas like that here, because that's definitely a value we want to encourage as our kids grow. (For one thing, our place simply isn't big enough for all the stuff just our one kid so far gets from relatives!)
Thanks for sharing all your ideas!