Tell All Tuesday September 6th, 2011

Pregnancy is hard.

Nursing a toddler is hard.

Keeping up with an almost 4yo is hard.

Crying everyday is not normal.

Sometimes you have to ask for help.




I am glad I realized that I was having some problems dealing with my moods, recognizing some troubling behaviors from a time when I was dealing with depressive episodes. (I never went for a diagnosis for depression, but took some classes that helped me move past my past a bit and learn to focus and manage myself a little better.)

I asked my doula/midwife assistant friend if there was such a thing as prenatal depression. I mean, Wikipedia doesn't know about it if there is! She said yes and sent me off to my naturopathic midwife.

Our course of action has been to see if addressing some possible deficiencies could be a culprit. I now take some supplements for Vitamin D, B6, and Omega 3 fish oil (something you should discuss with your care provider). Within a week I could feel things changing. I don't cry everyday. I have a *little* more patience. I could ask my friends and family to help me, without feeling so ashamed. They are my lifesavers.

This Tell All Tuesday was hard to write. No one likes to share that they don't have everything under control, or are having a hard time. But, I can personally tell you that sharing my problems has been a good thing, and I want others to know that they are not alone. If you are constantly at a loss for why you feel "this way," out of control, not managing yourself well, please speak up. There is always someone who cares, and there may be things that can help.

Symptoms of Depression and Anxiety during Pregnancy:

1. Extreme fatigue combined with excessive sadness and crying.
2. Extreme agitation and/or mood swings.
3. Compulsive eating or inability to eat.
4. Inability to enjoy the things that you used to enjoy before pregnancy.
5. Disturbed sleep patterns, such as the need to sleep all the time or insomnia (neither being related to pregnancy).
6. Panic attacks.
7. Obsessive behaviors/irrational thought processes.

For more information on prenatal depression:
http://www.babyzone.com/pregnancy/health_wellness/energy_emotions/article/depression-pregnancy

http://www.thecradle.com/depressionduringpregnancy

http://pregnancyandbaby.sheknows.com/pregnancy/baby/Breaking-the-silence-on-prenatal-depression-116.htm

True Confessions for World Breastfeeding Week

I think everyone goes through phases of breastfeeding. Yes, it is great. We know the benefits of breastfeeding at any age. That our milk changes through those phases to be just what our children need from newborn to weaning.[1] That is doesn't loose it's nutritional value or purpose at some arbitrary age.[2] And that breastfeeding is about more food.[3] What else is there to know?

Well, the truth. The truth that even something with a million benefits isn't always awesome. But, don't think I would change a thing. I just wanted to share the best lines ever shared with me when breastfeeding gets tough. Not the facts or statistics about it. Just the heartfelt support that has been shared with me over the years, though mostly for when nursing older children became a challenge. These things worked for me, but I don't expect everyone to feel the same.

"Breastfeeding is a relationship. It works best when both parties are benefiting." This allowed me to look past the martyr syndrome that is easy to fall into when it feels like breastfeeding takes every ounce of you. I really do get something out of it. And, I can do it best when I feel honored about the relationship.

"It is OK to set limits on breastfeeding a toddler. Teaching respect for our bodies is valid." While nursing an infant on demand is what they need and require, as they get older it is OK to share with them your own needs and find ways to satisfy both of you.

"Crying together is not the same as leaving them to cry it out." Sometimes you just really can't breastfeed for one. more. second. and setting a limit that works for your toddler just isn't working. As long as temper and anger aren't a concern (if they are, by all means step away to regain yourself) allowing your child to work through their disappointment with you there to support them and honor that disappointment isn't a bad thing.

"Yeah, sometimes breastfeeding sucks. Do you want to keep going? OK then. How can support you in that?" The important part to this was knowing that no matter my answer, this person really just wanted to support me in my choices. The reminder that I did have a choice was the reminder why I breastfed to begin with.

What was said to you in your darkest moments of breastfeeding despair that kept you going? If the moment was missed, what do you wish was said to you?

1. What Breastmilk Tastes Like: a good explanation of the changes and composition of breastmilk during the breastfeeding relationship from CodeName: Mama . Click through to the rest of the series, it is very interesting and informative.
2. Really, My Breastmilk is Turning to Water!?: Concise rebuttal to the common statement from The Artful Mama.
3. Extended Breastfeeding Benefits: for the always great KellyMom.com

I’m celebrating World Breastfeeding Week with Natural Parents Network!
You can, too — link up your breastfeeding posts from August 1-7 in the linky below, and enjoy reading, commenting on, and sharing the posts collected here and on Natural Parents Network.

(Visit NPN for the code to place on your blog.)

Wordless Wednesday: World Breastfeeding Week Edition With Linky!

The only picture I could find of L1 breastfeeding. I scored a 98% this song, and found out I was pregnant  with L2 a week later.

L2's first time at the breast.

Brothers sharing the good stuff.

My big boy L2, taking some milk during a Civil War reenactment.  I was also  13 weeks pregnant here.

Some resources for breastfeeding support:

www.kellymom.com

www.LLLI.org

Other sites/groups that have helped us on our breastfeeding adventure:

www.naturalparentsnetwork.com

http://www.attachmentparenting.org/

Books about breastfeeding:

The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding

Mothering Your Nursing Toddler

Adventures in Tandem Nursing

Children's Books that talk about breastfeeding:

What Baby Needs

I'm Made of Mama's Milk

We Like to Nurse

Other posts you might like:

Nursing, Un-Weaning, and (a kind of) Vacation.

Big changes.

Le Leche League of Washington Conference 2010: Herbal Galactogogues