Eat Cookies, Boost Supply

Sometimes milk supply could use a boost. When L3 started teething, she was consuming more and I was pumping less. I figured a little treat couldn't hurt!

I adapted my recipe from That Mama Gretchen


1 C butter (or substitute)
1 C sugar
1 C brown sugar, packed

1 T fenugreek
4 T brewed fenugreek tea
2 T flaxseed meal (I had flaxseeds and ground them in my coffee grinder)
2 eggs
1 t vanilla
2 C Gluten Free all-purpose flour (I use Jules)
1 t baking soda
1 t salt
4 C oats
1 C dried cranberries
1/2 C chopped/sliced almonds
4 T brewer's yeast

Preheat oven to 350 degrees

Brew fenugreek in 8 oz of hot water until grains are soft.
Mix flaxseed and 4 T fenugreek tea and let sit for 3-5 minutes. Drink the rest, reserve the grains!
Beat butter and sugars.
Add eggs and mix well.
Add flaxseed mix, fenugreek grains and vanilla, mix.
Add flour, brewer's yeast, baking soda, and salt.
Mix in oats, cranberries and nuts.
Round off a large tablespoon of dough and place on cookie sheet.
Bake for 15-18 minutes.
Let cool on cookie sheet for a few minutes and transfer to a cooling rack.

Just Another Mom, and That is Enough.

There are plenty of conversations going on about the "extreme parenting" idea of attachment parenting. I don't want to talk about the latest article. All that matters is what works for my family. I didn't set out to follow any kind of script with my parenting style. I knew before my children were born that I wanted to have a natural birth. That I wanted to breastfeed. I knew babywearing made things much easier. I had stories of babies sleeping better when in their parents arms. I don't think I learned what Attachment Parenting was until my first child was 5 or 6 months old, and I was trying to find friends with similar ideas.

Moms have tough jobs. Love your kids, love yourself, love your partner, take care of your home, kids, car, job, school, I could go on forever. I know moms of all different styles. I have only seen one bad mom, who abandoned her son for drugs (though, it was likely for the best in the long run for her child when he was placed with a loving family.) I know moms who don't breastfeed, couldn't, use formula, use donated milk, breastfeed for a little while or leave it to their children. Moms who work, go to school, stay home, work from home, work nights, use a nanny, use a day care, trade days with other moms. Some sleep with their kids, others find their family needs separate sleep space. Discipline in a wide range of ways.  Still, what matters? What works for us.

So, if someone asks you if you are "Mom Enough," try not to think of it a pitting one style of parenting against another (even if that is what THEY want you to think.) Ask yourself: are you mom enough for your children? Do you do your best to meet their needs, as well as your own? Do you make decisions based on what is possible for you in your current situation? I know that very frequently we feel the mommy guilt and think our children deserve better. Sometimes we feel beat down and think we deserve better. But, dig down to the nitty gritty and look. Are you mom enough? Look at your children, best done while they are sleeping ;-), and know that if they are grubby from no more than good clean earth and comfortable, that you are enough. You are enough mom for your children. Because you are their mom, and that is enough.

Tell All Tuesday: Breastfeeding Challenges January 10th, 2012

I have been breastfeeding for just over four years. I managed to keep exclusively breastfeeding for 5 months while working full time and pumping while I was gone 10 hours a day. L1 breastfed until a few months after L2 was born, then even un-weaned 6 months later to continue until just before I became pregnant with L3. L2 continued to breastfeed until a few weeks before L3 was born, when we had to wean for personality issues (sessions were ending with me bruised and battered). I did attempt to un-wean after L3's birth, but he wasn't really asking anymore. Besides, L3 and I were having some issues establishing our breastfeeding relationship.

For about the first week of L3's life nursing wasn't quite right. I was sore, but it wasn't unbearable. She lost a bit of weight, and there was some concern. But, we took her to meet our chiropractor and get adjusted. Things got better. She gained almost 3lbs in the next few weeks. But, things went sour again.

After 4 years of breastfeeding being "easy" for me, I was in pain. Not just pain, but cracking and bleeding (can you even read that without wincing?). I called on the know-how of a wonderful lactation consultant, Marianne from Mother Nurture Breastfeeding. I have a "plan" worked out to get past the issues that could be causing the damage, but nothing is certain. Craniosacral Therapy with Bryn today, and another adjustment (really need to set up regular appointments) with our chiropractor, Dr. Matt. L3 and I are trying some different positioning techniques. We might need to explore a frenectomy for tongue tie. For the time being, L3 is satisfied breastfeeding on the side that is not in as much pain. I am using a pump on the damaged side so it can have time to heal so I don't get engorged or risk mastitis. Even that is going pretty well, my little single manual gets about 5oz a session.

All sounds so *hopeful*, right? Well, it is. But it also sucks. A lot. I feel sad, guilty, and embarrassed. Sad that I have to put my girl through the hoops to try and get things worked out (she hates the new positions). Guilty that I might have done something wrong, didn't teach her right, waited too long to try nursing, or didn't wait long enough (mommy guilt is a horrible thing). And embarrassed to share not just that my breasts were damaged and hurting, but that I have had the dark moments in the wee hours, while crying in the dark because of the pain, wondering if breastfeeding was really worth it. So far I have decided that the pain is not worth putting up with, but that doesn't mean breastfeeding isn't worth the efforts to try and fix things. I am SO glad for the support I have to remind me of that. 

So, share! The difficulties and triumphs. The challenges and rewards.  

True Confessions for World Breastfeeding Week

I think everyone goes through phases of breastfeeding. Yes, it is great. We know the benefits of breastfeeding at any age. That our milk changes through those phases to be just what our children need from newborn to weaning.[1] That is doesn't loose it's nutritional value or purpose at some arbitrary age.[2] And that breastfeeding is about more food.[3] What else is there to know?

Well, the truth. The truth that even something with a million benefits isn't always awesome. But, don't think I would change a thing. I just wanted to share the best lines ever shared with me when breastfeeding gets tough. Not the facts or statistics about it. Just the heartfelt support that has been shared with me over the years, though mostly for when nursing older children became a challenge. These things worked for me, but I don't expect everyone to feel the same.

"Breastfeeding is a relationship. It works best when both parties are benefiting." This allowed me to look past the martyr syndrome that is easy to fall into when it feels like breastfeeding takes every ounce of you. I really do get something out of it. And, I can do it best when I feel honored about the relationship.

"It is OK to set limits on breastfeeding a toddler. Teaching respect for our bodies is valid." While nursing an infant on demand is what they need and require, as they get older it is OK to share with them your own needs and find ways to satisfy both of you.

"Crying together is not the same as leaving them to cry it out." Sometimes you just really can't breastfeed for one. more. second. and setting a limit that works for your toddler just isn't working. As long as temper and anger aren't a concern (if they are, by all means step away to regain yourself) allowing your child to work through their disappointment with you there to support them and honor that disappointment isn't a bad thing.

"Yeah, sometimes breastfeeding sucks. Do you want to keep going? OK then. How can support you in that?" The important part to this was knowing that no matter my answer, this person really just wanted to support me in my choices. The reminder that I did have a choice was the reminder why I breastfed to begin with.

What was said to you in your darkest moments of breastfeeding despair that kept you going? If the moment was missed, what do you wish was said to you?

1. What Breastmilk Tastes Like: a good explanation of the changes and composition of breastmilk during the breastfeeding relationship from CodeName: Mama . Click through to the rest of the series, it is very interesting and informative.
2. Really, My Breastmilk is Turning to Water!?: Concise rebuttal to the common statement from The Artful Mama.
3. Extended Breastfeeding Benefits: for the always great KellyMom.com

I’m celebrating World Breastfeeding Week with Natural Parents Network!
You can, too — link up your breastfeeding posts from August 1-7 in the linky below, and enjoy reading, commenting on, and sharing the posts collected here and on Natural Parents Network.

(Visit NPN for the code to place on your blog.)

Wordless Wednesday: World Breastfeeding Week Edition With Linky!

The only picture I could find of L1 breastfeeding. I scored a 98% this song, and found out I was pregnant  with L2 a week later.

L2's first time at the breast.

Brothers sharing the good stuff.

My big boy L2, taking some milk during a Civil War reenactment.  I was also  13 weeks pregnant here.

Some resources for breastfeeding support:

www.kellymom.com

www.LLLI.org

Other sites/groups that have helped us on our breastfeeding adventure:

www.naturalparentsnetwork.com

http://www.attachmentparenting.org/

Books about breastfeeding:

The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding

Mothering Your Nursing Toddler

Adventures in Tandem Nursing

Children's Books that talk about breastfeeding:

What Baby Needs

I'm Made of Mama's Milk

We Like to Nurse

Other posts you might like:

Nursing, Un-Weaning, and (a kind of) Vacation.

Big changes.

Le Leche League of Washington Conference 2010: Herbal Galactogogues

Nursing, Un-Weaning, and (a kind of) Vacation.

I love breastfeeding. I'll be honest, most of the time it gives me a feeling of accomplishment, natural connection, even a little bit of superiority (nothing against mom's who can't, I am blessed to be able to provide the best for my babies) and a truckload of gratefulness that I have a way to calm almost any situation. My experience breastfeeding has been mostly easy, just a few bumps on the way. I nursed as soon as possible after my c-section for L1 (though not before they made my husband give him a bottle of formula, and tried to tell us to give him the bottle first every time, and then the breast. So glad I knew better!) and my HBAC (home birth after cesarean) made for easy breastfeeding initiation with L2. I worked the first 5 months after L1 was born, and pumped while being gone 10 hours a day. Not once did we need to supplement with formula.

L1 was still nursing when I got pregnant with  L2, and showed no signs of slowing. He nursed frequently through the pregnancy and I was glad for a way to slow him down so I could rest. After L2 was born, L1 nursed even more, waking more times at night than the newborn. We kept this up for about 3 months before deciding something needed to change. We cut down to once during the night and nap time. When even that was too much for me, we encouraged him to cut those out. The transition was fairly smooth, though I felt horrible that I couldn't handle nursing both until they were ready to stop on their own.

Fast forward 7 months. L1 hadn't nursed since December (it was now July) and L2 was still nursing just as much as ever during the day but had cut down at night since starting baby led solids at 9 months. But, we were in the mode of going broke, moving, and planning a vacation that was gifted to us to see family in southern California. We were stressed, and the boys were starting to show it.  So one night, in the midst of a screaming tantrum that had reached over an hour with no relief from any of our usual methods I leaned in close and just whispered "Would you like to nurse?" L1 suddenly took a deep breath: "Nurnies? (hic) Ok." and came to rock with me and tried to nurse. He didn't remember how, but it allowed him to calm down and reconnect with me. When we finish, he gave me a big hug, patted my cheek and whispered "I love you mommy. And nurnies." I had a new ace in my pocket.

At the end of July we stayed with my mom while we moved. While it made things easier to not have L1 and L2 underfoot, it meant that Daddy was at work all day, then moving a load or two in the evening. That left very little daddy time, and no time for my husband and me. That was hard on all of us. I started nursing L1 even more to quell the emotional breakdowns. And more. When the moving was done, the boys and I flew to California. Without Daddy. Then it started. L2 wants to nurse All. The. Time. I can't handle it. We are surrounded by helpful, caring family, but still he screams for nurnies. Especially at night, when it is even harder to nurse because his relearned latch is lost in his exhaustion and IT HURTS. We are only 2 nights into the 5 without daddy, and I am almost ready to hitchhike home. Instead, I am going to dig deep, lean heavily on the expansive family ready and willing to help (for now!) and take everyone to the Natural History Museum and hope the dinosaurs will entertain L1 enough to keep his mind off missing daddy.

Big changes.

We are moving. Next week I am going on vacation without my husband. All sorts of big things to go about when I don't have the same kind of support I am used to.

To make the move easier on my boys, we have been staying at my mom's house. The best part has been spending time with my boys. One on one. Well, one on two. Living with family, there are a lot of people to care for each other, but sometimes it makes it too easy to just let other people help.  And, if I need a break: there it is. But, not right now, everyone is busy with the move. I feel left out, overwhelmed, and stressed. And you know how I know that? Because my son shows me, by his behavior.

Scott Noelle writes: "Children sense their parents' "vibes" and reflect back a similar vibration, often exaggerated in their behavior." And it is SO VERY TRUE.

For the most part, we are very fortunate with L1. He took to sign language early, and used it to communicate his needs so there was very little confusion. Which then created a relationship with very few power struggles. That has changed in the last few weeks. He has started hitting, running off, and throwing tantrums. Now, while I know these things are developmentally appropriate, they just didn't resonate with me as being who L1 was. Then I realized why he was acting this way.

Because I want to behave that way! I just want to MAKE people be the way I want them to be. I want to ESCAPE the difficulties. I feel like kicking and screaming and just getting my way. And while I try not to act out these big feelings, I still feel them, and they show in a big way when I get too tired.

So, I changed things. We started tandem nursing again, when things get tough. I might post more about that later (UPDATE: HERE), but for now I'll just say that it is what we needed to reconnect and feel for each other again. I try to consider my own feelings before reacting. I talk things out, I reach out to some amazing friends to help refocus my goals. We will survive this, I know that. Sometimes I just need reminding as to what kind of person, mother and children, wife and husband, I want to be afterwards.