2013 Gratitude Challenge!

I have done this in the past. And Momma Jorje is right, it is time to do it again. Without further ado:

Boundaries in Breastfeeding

Welcome to the Fabulous Hybrid Blog Carnival. Our topic this summer is BOUNDARIES! This post was written for inclusion in the quarterly Blog Carnival hosted by The Fabulous Mama Chronicles and Hybrid Rasta Mama. This month our participants reflect on boundaries in all of its many forms. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

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**This post in no way makes judgment on any parenting choices or decisions. Just an explanation of what was needed for me and my breastfeeding relationships to thrive!** 

When I was younger, I saw a woman who practiced full-term breastfeeding; her child was about 2. While it seems many people get squicked out and think "I could never breastfeed a child that old," I saw more. I saw how wonderful it was to the breastfeeding pair to have that available to help keep their connection during a busy event. The only thing I saw was the mother's embarrassment at her child's manner of request: lifting her shirt up, without warning.

This memory served to form some of my earliest thoughts on breastfeeding. I felt bad for her embarrassment, but could see how creating boundaries could help me and my future child enjoy a full term breastfeeding relationship, while honoring my needs at the same time. The World Health Organization calls for breastfeeding for at least 2 years or or more. Le Leche League calls for the relationship to continue for as long as they wish to. For my personal needs, I knew I needed to address my need for bodily autonomy from the very beginning, so I could be better able to meet my children's breastfeeding needs as long as possible.

From the start, we worked to teach methods of communicating that could be used anywhere and anytime. We would teach sign language; we used the sign for milk. My boys picked this up fairly quickly, L3 has other ideas. She hits my breast when she wants to nurse. I love that she is developing a clear sign for her needs, but it isn't one that I feel is respectful. So I do my best to gently take her hand (I usually kiss her fist,) request gentle touches and help her sign milk. When each of them started reaching in my shirt, I would do the same, but including mentioning that this was MY body and I would share, but needed to be asked rather than just being touched without permission.

The bonus lesson to teaching about person body space is also teaching my children that bodies are personal. Theirs as well. It is ours to use and share as we feel comfortable. I want to teach them it is ok to require respect of their space from outside sources.

As your child gets older, it is important for breastfeeding to be mutually agreeable. There are times we need to set respectful limits, so everyone has their needs met.

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Visit Hybrid Rasta Mama and the Fabulous Mama Chronicles to find out how you can participate in the next Fabulous Hybrid Carnival! Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants.

• Boundaries For The Attached Parenting Sexual Abuse Survivor - Guggie Daly at The Guggie Daily discusses how to balance the boundaries needed by a sexual abuse survivor with attachment parenting.
• Setting Boundaries With Kids - Amy at Presence Parenting explores why boundaries may be more about us than our kids.
• Limiting Dysfunction - Wolfmother at Fabulous Mama Chronicles speaks speaks out about the underlying dysfunction in her relationship with her parents and the strategies she’s had to implement to ensure the psychological health of herself and her family.
• My Fence - Jorje shares how and why she she feels the need to be guarded with her family on Momma Jorje.
• How To Set and Enforce Boundaries – Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama offers 6 suggestions on how to more effectively establish and enforce your boundaries, especially with those who blatantly disregard them.
• Boundaries in Breastfeeding - JW of True Confessions of a Real Mommy explores teaching personal space rules to allow a respectful breastfeeding relationship as well as honoring their own body autonomy.
• 3 Steps for Respecting Boundaries While Fulfilling Needs Within a Marriage - Kym at Our Crazy Corner of the World talks about three ways her husband and herself protect their own boundaries while still meeting each others needs.
• Establishing Boundaries With A Babymoon - Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children shares how important enforcing a babymoon was to establishing a new parental identity in the face of her in-laws.
• Planting The Seed: Teaching Kids About Healthy Boundaries And Saying No - MomeeeZen recently had to teach her daughter about setting healthy boundaries and about saying "No", even if it's to someone in your family.

Eat Cookies, Boost Supply

Sometimes milk supply could use a boost. When L3 started teething, she was consuming more and I was pumping less. I figured a little treat couldn't hurt!

I adapted my recipe from That Mama Gretchen


1 C butter (or substitute)
1 C sugar
1 C brown sugar, packed

1 T fenugreek
4 T brewed fenugreek tea
2 T flaxseed meal (I had flaxseeds and ground them in my coffee grinder)
2 eggs
1 t vanilla
2 C Gluten Free all-purpose flour (I use Jules)
1 t baking soda
1 t salt
4 C oats
1 C dried cranberries
1/2 C chopped/sliced almonds
4 T brewer's yeast

Preheat oven to 350 degrees

Brew fenugreek in 8 oz of hot water until grains are soft.
Mix flaxseed and 4 T fenugreek tea and let sit for 3-5 minutes. Drink the rest, reserve the grains!
Beat butter and sugars.
Add eggs and mix well.
Add flaxseed mix, fenugreek grains and vanilla, mix.
Add flour, brewer's yeast, baking soda, and salt.
Mix in oats, cranberries and nuts.
Round off a large tablespoon of dough and place on cookie sheet.
Bake for 15-18 minutes.
Let cool on cookie sheet for a few minutes and transfer to a cooling rack.

Your Humanity is Showing

More hoopla about breastfeeding. This time some moms daring to do so in their military uniforms with Brynja Sigurdardottir Photography. The storm of comments and judgments began. 

Being in uniform demands a certain decorum.

An American soldier feeds Japanese children in 1945 on Okinawa, site of an 82-day battle and Allied victory.Photo Credit: Getty Images

A responsibility to represent the strength of our force.

Soldiers show children how to play with yo-yos during humanitarian mission in the Philippines, September 2007 U.S. Navy (Michael Larson)

Because soldiers are trained killers. 

U.S. soldier carries a wounded Iraqi child (Marine Corps photo)

And breastfeeding makes women appear weak.

And while in uniform, soldiers are required to behave a certain way.

I refuse to show any images of the horrific things 

soldiers have done in uniform. They are graphic, 

heart-wrenching, and a horrible representation

 of who we are as a country.

Soldiers can be mothers. Mothers feed  their babies.  Breastfeeding doesn't make them more or less or enough. They are just ARE, so leave them be. They deserve support, not judgment. If their uniforms don't allow for ease of breastfeeding while following their code, then maybe some considerations need to be made to the uniforms or the code. Military families deserve the support and knowledge that their families are well cared for for the work they do to protect our country. Maybe if we were more connected to who we are as humans, there would be less need for the military.

Mother of All Wars: The Battle to Breastfeed in Uniform

For information about Breastfeeding in Uniform

Is Breastfeeding the "Cause of an Outside Organization"? The Case of Moms Breastfeeding in Uniform

Military moms fight back in nursing-in-uniform storm

Built for Two

Welcome to the Carnival of Tandem Nursing
This post was written for inclusion in the Carnival of Tandem Nursing hosted by Mommying My Way. Our participants have shared their personal stories of the highs the lows and information on what to expect if tandeming is in your future. Please read to the end of each post to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.
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Outside my bubble of breastfeeding, attachment parenting minded friends, most people couldn't understand why I would continue to breast feed my almost 2 year old. When I got pregnant with my second child, a few people thought it would be time for us to wean. My son didn't think so, and neither did I. So, I started reading, readying myself for what I could expect from tandem nursing. It sounded perfect. Feed my new baby, and have a way to still my toddler for a few minutes. I could nurse them both down for naps at the same time! When I was too tired to get up for snacks, I could offer to nurse. It would ease the transition to sibling life and teach them their first lessons of sharing with each other at the breast. For the most part, it was great. And it was all of those things. But, there were a few things i wasn't prepared for that made things difficult for me to continue to tandem nurse. (In fact, we even weaned for a time.) I want to share them, not to scare anyone away from the idea of tandem nursing, but so that you can prepare for it, in case similar issues arise for you.

 My oldest child, L1, is the sweetest little boy. He loves me, and loved to breastfeed. Our first night apart was the night I was in labor with his brother. He was 23 months old. We had started doing bedtimes with daddy so he didn't need to nurse to sleep every night, but had not worked to night wean otherwise. The new baby, L2, was a GOOD sleeper. Not waking most of the night after the first few days. But, L1 was waking frequently to reconnect and nurse. More often than the baby. I was frustrated and tired. So we started using Daddy as the first responder. Daddy would offer cuddles, water, snacks, whatever we could. I made an effort to breastfeed during the day more frequently to make sure he wasn't trying to make up for lost time at the breast at night. Eventually, L1 was able to sleep through the night again. When my third child came, we had learned our lesson and started practicing Daddy at Bedtime. Which was especially helpful to start early enough he was sleeping through the night by the time the baby came and my husband started working nights.

The other issue I came up against was the distinct fear and overwhelming feeling that I was not safe when I tandem nursed them at the same time. I have always had some issues with confined spaces, and being "trapped" under two children was difficult. What I was able to discern was some primal need to be alert, to be able to defend my children at a moments notice. How could I do this when I was so EXPOSED and weighed down? I could generally get past this feeling by limiting these moments to spaces I felt secure and relaxed. Mostly at home in our bed. Also at the house where I nannied, so I could get all three children to nap at the same time. For some reason, because the prospect of a few minutes of all of them sleeping at once was so enticing, I could manage it. Finding that space to feel relaxed helped us continue to have that special time together.

 The last issue I needed to address wasn't so much a problem with my first two children, but with my newest addition. We had weaned for the last part of my pregnancy, then had a hard time establishing breastfeeding, prolonging our temporary weaning until things were better. By then, I was breastfeeding my new baby, had taken on pumping milk to donate to another mother and baby, and my middle child was interested in unweaning. It has been a lesson for us all about sharing, self-care, and patience. Working to teach a more sensitive child to wait while the baby eats is not an easy task. Especially when your toddler thwarts your attempts at distraction with offers of flavored milk with a sad face "Nursies are better than ice cream milk!" I think things have gone pretty well as long as I keep communicating "First sister gets nursies, then I will pump for Baby Buddha, then you can have nursies. BUT, you can sit with me and help."

Through all of that: I would do it all again. Maybe even better. I believe in tandem nursing, if that is what works for you and your baby.
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• My Tandem Nursing Journey: Jenny at I'm a full-time mummy is sharing her tandem nursing journey so far...
• Built for Two: No matter how much you read and plan, things may not always go as you expect. A few things that Jennifer at True Confessions of a Real Mommy wished she knew when she was planning to tandem feed her toddler and newborn.
• Tandem Nursing - Magic Cure?: Jorje of Momma Jorje had high expectations of tandem nursing easing her toddler daughter's transition from being the baby to being a big sister.
• Mutually Desirable - Navigating a Tandem Nursing Experience: Amy Willa at www.amywilla.com talks about limit setting and meditations that help her navigate an intense tandem nursing experience.
• My Adventure in Tandem Nursing: Alicia at Lactation Narration tells her story of nursing her daughter through pregnancy and then tandem nursing.
• 4 months in: the good/hard: Becca at Exile Fertility writes about the joys and struggles of having two nurslings 17 months apart.
• Tandem Nursing: One at a Time: When tandem nursing resulted in a nursing aversion, Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children looked for ways to meet everyone's needs.
• Why Nurse a 4 Year Old?: One of the questions Dionna at Code Name: Mama keeps getting is, "but why breastfeed a four year old? What are the benefits?" Today she answers that question.
• My Hurt Feelings: Shannon at The Artful Mama shares how her first son reacted to nursing after the birth of his brother and the gift she received the last time he nursed.
• Carnival of Tandem Nursing: A Letter To Myself 7 Years Ago: Dulce de leche shares the advice and reassurance that she would have given to herself if she could go back in time.
• Nursing Both My Babies: Cassie at There’s a Pickle in my Life shares her experience with nursing and transitioning into tandem nursing. She also gives tips for struggles.
• Our Tandem Nursing Journey: Kim at Life-is-Learning describes her journey into tandem nursing and why it is important to her.
• Based on her own experience, Lauren at Hobo Mama dishes about the benefits and downsides to nursing multiple children.

Just Another Mom, and That is Enough.

There are plenty of conversations going on about the "extreme parenting" idea of attachment parenting. I don't want to talk about the latest article. All that matters is what works for my family. I didn't set out to follow any kind of script with my parenting style. I knew before my children were born that I wanted to have a natural birth. That I wanted to breastfeed. I knew babywearing made things much easier. I had stories of babies sleeping better when in their parents arms. I don't think I learned what Attachment Parenting was until my first child was 5 or 6 months old, and I was trying to find friends with similar ideas.

Moms have tough jobs. Love your kids, love yourself, love your partner, take care of your home, kids, car, job, school, I could go on forever. I know moms of all different styles. I have only seen one bad mom, who abandoned her son for drugs (though, it was likely for the best in the long run for her child when he was placed with a loving family.) I know moms who don't breastfeed, couldn't, use formula, use donated milk, breastfeed for a little while or leave it to their children. Moms who work, go to school, stay home, work from home, work nights, use a nanny, use a day care, trade days with other moms. Some sleep with their kids, others find their family needs separate sleep space. Discipline in a wide range of ways.  Still, what matters? What works for us.

So, if someone asks you if you are "Mom Enough," try not to think of it a pitting one style of parenting against another (even if that is what THEY want you to think.) Ask yourself: are you mom enough for your children? Do you do your best to meet their needs, as well as your own? Do you make decisions based on what is possible for you in your current situation? I know that very frequently we feel the mommy guilt and think our children deserve better. Sometimes we feel beat down and think we deserve better. But, dig down to the nitty gritty and look. Are you mom enough? Look at your children, best done while they are sleeping ;-), and know that if they are grubby from no more than good clean earth and comfortable, that you are enough. You are enough mom for your children. Because you are their mom, and that is enough.

Tell All Tuesday: Breastfeeding Challenges January 10th, 2012

I have been breastfeeding for just over four years. I managed to keep exclusively breastfeeding for 5 months while working full time and pumping while I was gone 10 hours a day. L1 breastfed until a few months after L2 was born, then even un-weaned 6 months later to continue until just before I became pregnant with L3. L2 continued to breastfeed until a few weeks before L3 was born, when we had to wean for personality issues (sessions were ending with me bruised and battered). I did attempt to un-wean after L3's birth, but he wasn't really asking anymore. Besides, L3 and I were having some issues establishing our breastfeeding relationship.

For about the first week of L3's life nursing wasn't quite right. I was sore, but it wasn't unbearable. She lost a bit of weight, and there was some concern. But, we took her to meet our chiropractor and get adjusted. Things got better. She gained almost 3lbs in the next few weeks. But, things went sour again.

After 4 years of breastfeeding being "easy" for me, I was in pain. Not just pain, but cracking and bleeding (can you even read that without wincing?). I called on the know-how of a wonderful lactation consultant, Marianne from Mother Nurture Breastfeeding. I have a "plan" worked out to get past the issues that could be causing the damage, but nothing is certain. Craniosacral Therapy with Bryn today, and another adjustment (really need to set up regular appointments) with our chiropractor, Dr. Matt. L3 and I are trying some different positioning techniques. We might need to explore a frenectomy for tongue tie. For the time being, L3 is satisfied breastfeeding on the side that is not in as much pain. I am using a pump on the damaged side so it can have time to heal so I don't get engorged or risk mastitis. Even that is going pretty well, my little single manual gets about 5oz a session.

All sounds so *hopeful*, right? Well, it is. But it also sucks. A lot. I feel sad, guilty, and embarrassed. Sad that I have to put my girl through the hoops to try and get things worked out (she hates the new positions). Guilty that I might have done something wrong, didn't teach her right, waited too long to try nursing, or didn't wait long enough (mommy guilt is a horrible thing). And embarrassed to share not just that my breasts were damaged and hurting, but that I have had the dark moments in the wee hours, while crying in the dark because of the pain, wondering if breastfeeding was really worth it. So far I have decided that the pain is not worth putting up with, but that doesn't mean breastfeeding isn't worth the efforts to try and fix things. I am SO glad for the support I have to remind me of that. 

So, share! The difficulties and triumphs. The challenges and rewards.  

Tell All Tuesday: January 3rd, 2012

It has been a full end of the year around here. There have been highs and lows of course.

L3 arrived TWO WEEKS EARLY. And being that we expected her to come later (L2 was a week "late") we weren't totally prepared. The Christmas tree had only gone up the day before labor started!

Breastfeeding did not kick off easily or right away like it had in the past. It took us almost a week to work out her latch issues. I even had cracked nipples! After never having breastfeeding issues, this was really frustrating!

Then there was a period of concern about L3's weight gain. She was still -5oz from her birth weight a week later (even without IV fluids in labor.) But she solved that one with the development of her latch and my SUPERMILK! She went on to gain 14oz the next week!

I had intended to allow for the exploration of un-weaning L2 after my milk came in. He has breastfed a few times, but mostly I put him off and save it for the times that NOTHING ELSE WORKS. So, I am confessing I am not the all accepting, tandem nursing mom I was able to be for L1. I feel pretty guilty about that, but also realize that L2's needs are different than L1's were. Otherwise he would be requesting more, right?

On the potty bowl!

I wanted to try to practice Elimination Communication from the beginning with L3. I settled for watching for her cues and trying not to let a dirty diaper sit. Not that she would allow that. She was clear when she needed a dry diaper. We have started up though, and I hope to manage more as we go on.

Something that has been different from this pregnancy from the last ones was the weight gain. I had always finished off down when all is said and done. This time I am not. I am back in my "comfy" jeans, but not back to size. Granted it has only been 4 weeks, I lost so much weigh between pregnancies, and I am ready to head back to Zumba and watching our diet more closely (the last month being mostly comfort foods, junk, candy, and take out) so I don't expect it to take long to feel fit again. I am actually surprised I care about my weight this way, and want to work on focusing the frustration on feeling fit and able to keep up with my children over fitting into certain sizes.

We have NOT kept up with our weekly house blessing. With Mike moving to graveyard and my being to uncomfortable and tired to keep up myself, we slacked. So now we need to find a way to make it work with a new baby and Mike on graveyard. Stay tuned for more on that!

Best of Natural Parents Network Volunteers Blog Blitz 2011

I am proud and honored to be volunteer with the Natural Parents Network (NPN), a community of natural-minded parents and parents-to-be where you will be informed, empowered, and inspired. When you visit the NPN’s website you can find articles and posts about Activism, Balance, Consistent Care, Ecological Responsibility, Family Safety, Feeding With Love, Gentle Discipline, Healthy Living, Holistic Health, Natural Learning, Nurturing Touch, Parenting Philosophies, Practical Home Help, Preparing for Parenting, Responding With Sensitivity, Safe Sleep, and so much more! The volunteers who dedicate their time and energy to make NPN the outstanding resource it is also spend countless hours informing and inspiring others on their personal blogs. To close out 2011, the NPN volunteers have come together to provide you with some valuable reading material. Each volunteer has selected either their most viewed post of 2011 or their favorite post and shared the link here. Please take a few moments to visit each post. Our intention is to expand our reach as bloggers and informed parents and parents-to-be who are still growing as we move through our own journeys. Each volunteer has provided links to other social media sites where you can follow them as well. We hope you enjoy reading these posts as much as we enjoyed writing them. We are always looking for new volunteers so please, contact us if you are interested. Just a few hours per month can help other mamas in a huge way!

  Abbie at Farmer's Daughter shares her Christmas Cookie Swap Blog Hop, which is her fourth annual virtual cookie swap and most popular post of the year. Please stop by and link up your favorite holiday recipe until Dec. 31. You can find Farmer's Daughter on Facebook and Twitter.

  Adrienne from Mommying My Way shares Fear vs. Faith, one of her favorite posts about how often living a life of faith can look like a life of fear, but the two are really quite different. You can also find Mommying My Way on Facebook.

  Alicia of Lactation Narration retells the story of her oldest daughter's 5 years of nursing and weaning in her favorite post of 2011, The Weaning Party. You can find Lactation Narration on Facebook and Twitter.

  Amy of Toddler In Tow shares Finding My Mommy-Zen, her most viewed post of 2011. In this post, she shares her desire to balance her own self-esteem by choice in order to parent with peace and compassion. You can also find Toddler In Tow on Facebook, Pinterest and Twitter, and follow Amyables (Amy W.) on Google + and Ravelry.

  Arpita of Up, Down, and Natural shares one of her most popular posts titled Reflections. This is a beautiful look at the type of mother she wants to be. You can find Up, Down, and Natural on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest.

  Charise of I Thought I Knew Mama shares Why Do Children Have More Food Allergies Than Ever Before?, her most viewed post of 2011. This post explains the shocking info that one unsuspecting mother discovered when she started researching why her daughter had a violent allergic reaction to eggs. This is a must read post for ensuring the health of your family. You can also find I Thought I Knew Mama on Facebook, Twitter, Google+, and Stumbleupon.

  Christine of African Babies Don’t Cry shares The Best First Food for Babies, one of her favourite posts of 2011. This well-researched post delves into the healthiest and most nutritious food to feed your baby. You can also find African Babies Don’t Cry on Facebook, Twitter, Google + and Pinterest.

  Cynthia of The Hippie Housewife shares Gentle Discipline for Toddlers, her most viewed post of 2011. This post describes five gentle discipline tools for parenting toddlers. You can also find The Hippie Housewife on Facebook, Google +, and Pinterest.

  Darcel of The Mahogany Way shares how Babywearing Is A Way of Life one of her favorite post of 2011. This post showcases some beautiful woven wraps that she has purchased, traded, borrowed, and sold over the years. Darcel also talks about the benefits of babywearing from the newborn through toddler stage. You can also find Darcel{ The Mahogany Way} on Facebook, Twitter, Her Community for Mothers of Color, and Pinterest.

  Dionna of Code Name Mama shares 50 Healthy Snack Ideas for Kids Plus Fun Serving Suggestions, her most viewed post of 2011. Most of these snacks are quick to fix and portable, so you can pack them to send with your child on play dates, at preschool, or to just have handy in the refrigerator for when your child wants to grab a bite to eat “all by himself.” You can find Dionna on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and YouTube.

  Erica at ChildOrganics shares a post that is not only close to her heart, but also her most viewed post for 2011 titled Attachment Parenting in the NICU. This post shares her top 10 tips for parenting should you find yourself with a baby in the NICU. You can also find Erica on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest.

  Gretchen of That Mama Gretchen shares her personal experience of returning to work, expressing milk, and the ups and downs in between in her 2011 most viewed post, Mama's Milk. You can also find Gretchen on GFC, Blog Lovin', Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest.

  Isil of Smiling like Sunshine shares how to make an autumn tree using pumpkin seeds, her most popular post in 2011. This post features a lovely craft activity that you can do with your kids! You can also find Isil on Facebook and Twitter.

  Jennifer of Hybrid Rasta Mama shares 80 Uses For Coconut Oil, her most viewed post of 2011. This comprehensive post provides background information on the benefits of coconut oil as well as outlines 80 uses for it. You can also find Hybrid Rasta Mama on Facebook, Twitter, Google +, and Pinterest.

  Jennifer of True Confessions of a Real Mommy shares her most popular post of 2011, Weekly House Blessing (Otherwise Known as Cleaning Once a Week). This post outlines a once per week cleaning routine for busy moms. You can also find Jennifer on Twitter.

  Joella, the mama behind Fine and Fair, shares An Unusual Gripe with Bebe Gluton, one of her most popular posts of 2011. In it, she discusses the controversy surrounding a "breastfeeding doll" and offers her take on the gender role implications of dolls in general. Fine and Fair can also be found on twitter and facebook.

  Julia of A Little Bit of All of It shares the story of how her co-sleeping relationship ended with her daughter, her most viewed post of 2011. This post shows how her daughter transitioned to her own bed on her 2nd birthday and the emotions involved for her mom. You can also find A Little Bit of All of It on Facebook, Twitter, Google +, and Pinterest.

  Kat at Loving {Almost} Every Moment shares True Blessings: White Noise and Grandparents, her most viewed post of 2011. In this post, Kat talks about how she maximizes getting sleep and how grateful and blessed she is to have her parents be so involved in helping and spending time with her kiddos.

  Kelly of Becoming Crunchy shares That Cup Does What?, her most viewed post of 2011. This post is one of a series of reviews and information on switching to all natural menstrual products - having heard so many different options and recommendations, Kelly decided to give a whole bunch of them a try and pull all the reviews together in one week for anyone interested in making the switch. This post in particular covers the ins and outs of the Diva Cup. You can also find Becoming Crunchy on Facebook, Twitter, Google + and Pinterest.

  Kristin of Intrepid Murmurings shares a popular post from 2011, something she and her husband made for their girls for Christmas, great for open-ended play and construction: Handmade Tree Blocks. You can also find Kristin on Twitter, Facebook and Pinterest.

  Lani of Boobie Time shares Helping a Fellow Breastfeeding Mom, her inspiration for starting to blog. This post discusses the importance of fellow moms supporting each other and some tips on having a successful breastfeeding relationship.

  Laura at WaldenMommy: Life Behind the Red Front Door writes about finally entering "spring" when her child with special needs begins preschool. After battling post-partum mental illness (post tramatic stress disorder) after the preterm birth of her third child, she finally begins to feel healthy and whole again in "It's Fall, Ya'll-Again."

  Lauren of Hobo Mama shares On not having an AP poster child, her (OK, second) most viewed post of 2011. Lauren's first child shook her certainty that attachment parenting meant babies never cried and toddlers grew independent — and that's all right, too. You can also find Hobo Mama on Facebook, Twitter, Google+, and Pinterest.

  Luschka of Diary of a First Child shares Lactivism, Breastfeeding, Bottlefeeding and Mothers at War, one of her most viewed posts of 2011. This post discusses how the breastfeeding/bottle feeding debate causes a division between mothers, leading to the alienation of women and babies, while divisive companies prosper. You can also find Diary of a First Child on Facebook, and Twitter.

  Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children shares how With Privilege Comes Responsibility, one of her most viewed posts of 2011. This compelling post explains her strong felt desire to stand up for those less privileged. You can also find Living Peacefully with Children on Facebook.

  Melissa of Vibrant Wanderings shares a Montessori-Inspired Checklist for Choosing Toys, her most popular post of 2011. The article outlines some important Montessori principles and how they relate to children's toys, translating that into some simple guiding principles. You can also find Melissa on Facebook, Twitter, Google+, and Pinterest.

  Melissa of White Noise shares Modern Day Wet Nurse, her most viewed post of 2011. In this post, Melissa shares the benefits of human breast milk and human milk sharing. You can also find Melissa at Mothers of Change.

  Momma Jorje shares Amniocentesis - What is it *really* like?, one of her most viewed posts of 2011. This open and honest series offers not only the technical process of amniocentesis, but also the emotions involved in awaiting (and receiving) the procedure and a diagnosis. Momma Jorje can also be found on Facebook.

  Moorea of MamaLady: Adventures in Queer Parenting shares Fluoride: Another Reason Breast Is Best, her favorite post of 2011. This post provides research on the harmful effects of fluoride in drinking water for babies and toddlers and ways to limit fluoride consumption in your home. You can also find MamaLady on Facebook and Twitter and her Parent Coaching Site.

  Rachael at The Variegated Life is Calling the Muse in her most viewed post of 2011. In this post, she describes how she uses ritual to help her tap into her creative spirit. You can also find Rachael on Twitter and The Variegated Life on Facebook.

  Rebekah and Chris from Liberated Family shares Using Cloth In a Disposable Society, their favorite post of 2011. This extensive post provides a lot of information regarding the varied uses of cloth as well as the many benefits. You can also find Liberated Family on Twitter.

  Sarah at Parenting God's Children shares her most viewed post: Confessions of a Breastfeeding Advocate: I Couldn't. She confesses her struggles with breastfeeding her daughters, but shares why she'll continue the good fight. You can also find Sarah on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest.

  Seonaid of The Practical Dilettante offers a science- and reverence-based meditation on The Living Earth, her most viewed post of 2011. This meditation was originally written for Earth Day, but it provides a way to reconnect with your place in the living breathing planet at any time of year. You can also find Seonaid on Facebook, Twitter, and Google +.

  Shannon at Pineapples & Artichokes shares I Recommend (But Moira Likes This Book Too), her most viewed post of 2011. This post is a review of a wonderful book that talks about all the different ways that families can be made up, along with some of why this topic is so important to her family.

Sheryl at Little Snowflakes shares her experiences with tandem nursing in Tandem Nursing – The Good, The Bad and The Ugly, her most viewed post of 2011. You can also find Sheryl on Twitter.

Stay tuned for some amazing posts from all of these tremendous bloggers in 2012!

Tell All Tuesday September 6th, 2011

Pregnancy is hard.

Nursing a toddler is hard.

Keeping up with an almost 4yo is hard.

Crying everyday is not normal.

Sometimes you have to ask for help.




I am glad I realized that I was having some problems dealing with my moods, recognizing some troubling behaviors from a time when I was dealing with depressive episodes. (I never went for a diagnosis for depression, but took some classes that helped me move past my past a bit and learn to focus and manage myself a little better.)

I asked my doula/midwife assistant friend if there was such a thing as prenatal depression. I mean, Wikipedia doesn't know about it if there is! She said yes and sent me off to my naturopathic midwife.

Our course of action has been to see if addressing some possible deficiencies could be a culprit. I now take some supplements for Vitamin D, B6, and Omega 3 fish oil (something you should discuss with your care provider). Within a week I could feel things changing. I don't cry everyday. I have a *little* more patience. I could ask my friends and family to help me, without feeling so ashamed. They are my lifesavers.

This Tell All Tuesday was hard to write. No one likes to share that they don't have everything under control, or are having a hard time. But, I can personally tell you that sharing my problems has been a good thing, and I want others to know that they are not alone. If you are constantly at a loss for why you feel "this way," out of control, not managing yourself well, please speak up. There is always someone who cares, and there may be things that can help.

Symptoms of Depression and Anxiety during Pregnancy:

1. Extreme fatigue combined with excessive sadness and crying.
2. Extreme agitation and/or mood swings.
3. Compulsive eating or inability to eat.
4. Inability to enjoy the things that you used to enjoy before pregnancy.
5. Disturbed sleep patterns, such as the need to sleep all the time or insomnia (neither being related to pregnancy).
6. Panic attacks.
7. Obsessive behaviors/irrational thought processes.

For more information on prenatal depression:
http://www.babyzone.com/pregnancy/health_wellness/energy_emotions/article/depression-pregnancy

http://www.thecradle.com/depressionduringpregnancy

http://pregnancyandbaby.sheknows.com/pregnancy/baby/Breaking-the-silence-on-prenatal-depression-116.htm

Wordless Wednesday: World Breastfeeding Week Edition With Linky!

The only picture I could find of L1 breastfeeding. I scored a 98% this song, and found out I was pregnant  with L2 a week later.

L2's first time at the breast.

Brothers sharing the good stuff.

My big boy L2, taking some milk during a Civil War reenactment.  I was also  13 weeks pregnant here.

Some resources for breastfeeding support:

www.kellymom.com

www.LLLI.org

Other sites/groups that have helped us on our breastfeeding adventure:

www.naturalparentsnetwork.com

http://www.attachmentparenting.org/

Books about breastfeeding:

The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding

Mothering Your Nursing Toddler

Adventures in Tandem Nursing

Children's Books that talk about breastfeeding:

What Baby Needs

I'm Made of Mama's Milk

We Like to Nurse

Other posts you might like:

Nursing, Un-Weaning, and (a kind of) Vacation.

Big changes.

Le Leche League of Washington Conference 2010: Herbal Galactogogues

Take Me Out to the Ball Field!

We love going to watch baseball. And even though they aren't the greatest of teams, the Mariners are entertaining, and their field is great. We love to take our boys, watch the game, wander the stadium, play on the playground, and of course EAT! And last night, I was finally able to take advantage of all of those things!

Phase One: Breastfeeding at the stadium.

Too frequently, I read about mom's getting flak for breastfeeding at the ball game. Not me, not at Safeco, not ever. In fact, the employees there have always been great about it. They help me find an open seat in our section that isn't in direct sunlight, or need a little more space for a nursing/sleeping babe. They do have a nursing lounge, which I have used when a kiddo needs a quiet respite to nurse and reconnect, but never once was this suggested to me (which I would have construed as a suggestion to hide). 

Phase Two: EATING!

So, going gluten/dairy/soy free is not the easiest. I am sure anybody knows this. But going to the ball field just SCREAMS hot dogs and beer. Or, at Safeco, Ivar's, microbrews and Garlic fries. Ok, so maybe it is a little stuck up, but it is great. And last night, I was able to enjoy GF fish and chips from the Seafood Shack on the second level (they use rice flour for the batter!) and they have even started carrying Redbridge GF beer at select stands. Also, upon hearing my fish wasn't all the great on first bite, the guy come back with a bigger batch of freshly made ones that were divine!  They have expanded their options for many food restrictive or choice fans. So, even with the embarrassing 3 homeruns given up in the 5th inning and subsequent loss, last night was a WIN!

Phase Three: Celebrating the Field and a single suggestion for improvement.

I like to honor positive efforts. It sucks to only hear complaints, so I like to taut the positive as much as I would the negative. So, I sent them a little note doing just that. Don't know that I will hear anything back, but I did what I could. Here is my letter:

I would just like to thank you for creating a truly supportive family environment  at the ball field! Too often I hear of mother and babies being bullied for breastfeeding in public, but that has NEVER been my experience when visiting Safeco Field to watch our Mariners. Not only have your employees been accommodating when we needed to change seats to get our children out of the blazing sun on a perfect sunny day, or find more space to nurse comfortably, but never once have they suggested the  available nursing lounge. Which although is very nice (great for my distractable babe) might give the impression of encouraging seclusion. Thank you so much for all of this! My only suggestion would be to introduce the International Breastfeeding Symbol. Not only to make the lounge easier to locate  for those who would like to use it (currently the signage has a bottle on the sign, which isn't exactly supportive of breastfeeding), but also to display the Field's support in any seat or location your breastfeeding fans have permission to be.

Thank you again for providing my family with a great place to spend time together.

Link to International Breastfeeding Symbol: http://www.breastfeedingsymbol.org/download/

Yeah, I stole the picture. It is of us, but I my camera phone was dead, so this was all there was!

UPDATE: Safeco Field now uses the International Breastfeeding Symbol! I wish I could have snapped a picture of it up on the jumbo screen. I can't say it was because of this email, but I won't discredit myself either!

Nursing, Un-Weaning, and (a kind of) Vacation.

I love breastfeeding. I'll be honest, most of the time it gives me a feeling of accomplishment, natural connection, even a little bit of superiority (nothing against mom's who can't, I am blessed to be able to provide the best for my babies) and a truckload of gratefulness that I have a way to calm almost any situation. My experience breastfeeding has been mostly easy, just a few bumps on the way. I nursed as soon as possible after my c-section for L1 (though not before they made my husband give him a bottle of formula, and tried to tell us to give him the bottle first every time, and then the breast. So glad I knew better!) and my HBAC (home birth after cesarean) made for easy breastfeeding initiation with L2. I worked the first 5 months after L1 was born, and pumped while being gone 10 hours a day. Not once did we need to supplement with formula.

L1 was still nursing when I got pregnant with  L2, and showed no signs of slowing. He nursed frequently through the pregnancy and I was glad for a way to slow him down so I could rest. After L2 was born, L1 nursed even more, waking more times at night than the newborn. We kept this up for about 3 months before deciding something needed to change. We cut down to once during the night and nap time. When even that was too much for me, we encouraged him to cut those out. The transition was fairly smooth, though I felt horrible that I couldn't handle nursing both until they were ready to stop on their own.

Fast forward 7 months. L1 hadn't nursed since December (it was now July) and L2 was still nursing just as much as ever during the day but had cut down at night since starting baby led solids at 9 months. But, we were in the mode of going broke, moving, and planning a vacation that was gifted to us to see family in southern California. We were stressed, and the boys were starting to show it.  So one night, in the midst of a screaming tantrum that had reached over an hour with no relief from any of our usual methods I leaned in close and just whispered "Would you like to nurse?" L1 suddenly took a deep breath: "Nurnies? (hic) Ok." and came to rock with me and tried to nurse. He didn't remember how, but it allowed him to calm down and reconnect with me. When we finish, he gave me a big hug, patted my cheek and whispered "I love you mommy. And nurnies." I had a new ace in my pocket.

At the end of July we stayed with my mom while we moved. While it made things easier to not have L1 and L2 underfoot, it meant that Daddy was at work all day, then moving a load or two in the evening. That left very little daddy time, and no time for my husband and me. That was hard on all of us. I started nursing L1 even more to quell the emotional breakdowns. And more. When the moving was done, the boys and I flew to California. Without Daddy. Then it started. L2 wants to nurse All. The. Time. I can't handle it. We are surrounded by helpful, caring family, but still he screams for nurnies. Especially at night, when it is even harder to nurse because his relearned latch is lost in his exhaustion and IT HURTS. We are only 2 nights into the 5 without daddy, and I am almost ready to hitchhike home. Instead, I am going to dig deep, lean heavily on the expansive family ready and willing to help (for now!) and take everyone to the Natural History Museum and hope the dinosaurs will entertain L1 enough to keep his mind off missing daddy.

Big changes.

We are moving. Next week I am going on vacation without my husband. All sorts of big things to go about when I don't have the same kind of support I am used to.

To make the move easier on my boys, we have been staying at my mom's house. The best part has been spending time with my boys. One on one. Well, one on two. Living with family, there are a lot of people to care for each other, but sometimes it makes it too easy to just let other people help.  And, if I need a break: there it is. But, not right now, everyone is busy with the move. I feel left out, overwhelmed, and stressed. And you know how I know that? Because my son shows me, by his behavior.

Scott Noelle writes: "Children sense their parents' "vibes" and reflect back a similar vibration, often exaggerated in their behavior." And it is SO VERY TRUE.

For the most part, we are very fortunate with L1. He took to sign language early, and used it to communicate his needs so there was very little confusion. Which then created a relationship with very few power struggles. That has changed in the last few weeks. He has started hitting, running off, and throwing tantrums. Now, while I know these things are developmentally appropriate, they just didn't resonate with me as being who L1 was. Then I realized why he was acting this way.

Because I want to behave that way! I just want to MAKE people be the way I want them to be. I want to ESCAPE the difficulties. I feel like kicking and screaming and just getting my way. And while I try not to act out these big feelings, I still feel them, and they show in a big way when I get too tired.

So, I changed things. We started tandem nursing again, when things get tough. I might post more about that later (UPDATE: HERE), but for now I'll just say that it is what we needed to reconnect and feel for each other again. I try to consider my own feelings before reacting. I talk things out, I reach out to some amazing friends to help refocus my goals. We will survive this, I know that. Sometimes I just need reminding as to what kind of person, mother and children, wife and husband, I want to be afterwards.